Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Day 6

It came. It stunk. It's over.

We met Jack's family. They are now dead.

Audrey is whacked. Her dad is a dick (even though he did drive his car off a cliff for JB last season).

Chloe is having a child. Can you possibly become depressed within the womb by your mother cutting down everything you do? If so, little O'Brien is gonna be one depressed baby. Please god, I hope this is the reason why she isn't on season 7.

Nadia/Milo/Ricky Schroeder/JB's sister-in-law (quasi-love-interest) good season. See you never.

Bill and Karen, happy retirement. You can only get fired/resign so many times.

JB... you were incredibly sweaty to end season 6. Once again, you saved the world from evil. You might as well join Heroes and kick Sylar's ass. Or go coach high school football in Dillion, Texas. Or move to Agrestic and grow some stuff with Nancy Botwin. Or hang with Vinnie Chase and the boys. Maybe you could go to B-more and try to bust Avon Barksdale with McNulty. But, since I doubt that you will do any of that, please leave Los Angeles. I'm tired of LA, and I assume that you are as well. LA has taken everything from you. Follow the inspiration of Nip/Tuck and give another city a shot.

Seasons 5 and 6 sucked. Here's to two (contractually obligated) much better final seasons.

- A-money

Friday, April 20, 2007

oh crap

Ryan (Pittsburgh): Sports Guy what are your thoughts on the Day 6 of 24? For me it's been an upgrade over the previous 2 seasons, but it is still a distant 4th behind seasons 1-3.

Bill Simmons: (12:22 PM ET ) Wasted year. I'm not giving up on the show, but it's been the worst of the 6 seasons and definitely the worst-written and worst-acted. I'd like to see them do an experimental season where something crazy happens, like Jack has severe diarrhea during the entire season and it's a running theme. "I need to find a bathroom - WHERE IS THE BATHROOM? WHERE IS IT???????"

Monday, March 05, 2007

A&E Shows Old 24s

Since I am currently unemployed, I have been viewing old 24s on A&E (only reason to watch this channel). I recently saw a season 3 episode that I somehow had forgotten about (no, not the russian roulette game during the prison break). It was the episode where JB has to murder his boss from CTU (sidenote, a silent countdown ends the show, so the Edgah silent countdown wasn't even original). Pretty ridiculous, even after all of the stuff in season 5.

Now I bring up this episode, not only because of its craziness, but because of who else you see during the show.
  • Chase - After watching him in action, I'm very upset he isn't on the show anymore. He was a very solid couterpart to JB, even a possible replacement. The fact that he isn't on the show upsets me more than Michelle, as much as Tony, but not even close to Palmer.
  • Sylar - I completely forgot that the enemy of the Heroes was a CTU computer guy. He was kind of a Chloe slash Edgah type, before her bunkass was around (and his fatass, I'm still not upset that he died from the nerve agent). Now I tivo both shows, but I am currently more involved with Heroes (yeah I said it. drama like 24. answers, unlike lost. girl from remember the titans... all grown up. great show.)
  • The Korean guy from Lost - he was Chase's partner. Apparently, 24 just makes solid actors.
I don't really know what to say about this season. The torture has gone a little over the top, JBs dad is a real snake, and Droopy needs a shave. I have been in LA for the past week, and I have tried to act like I was JB as much as possible. I really have no idea how someone could fight terrorism here, the city is so spread out and there is so much traffic. JB would spend half his day beeping his horn, losing his cell signal, and flipping the bird on the highway.

But I still watch. JB is a once in a lifetime character, and I don't want to miss out on any of his adventures.

- A-Money

Saturday, February 10, 2007

At script writing school, I learned how write scripts and become a script writer

1. Capt. Bluetooth’s name is spelled “G-R-A-E-M”? We’re sure this isn’t Dawson’s Creek? (hmm... Pacey… he’s not doing much these days… 24 anyone?)

2. Here is a tasty lick from some recent interview… where Chloe may have made out with Rush Limbaugh:

““People will ask, 'Well, why did you kill [Counter Terrorist Unit computer technician] Edgar [Stiles]?' 'Why did you kill [agent] Tony [Almeida]?'" Surnow said. "Because this is a war, and in war, there are always casualties. You have to care about the people that are paying the price or the show doesn't work."”

Wait, you’re sure that it doesn’t have anything to do with the whole “it's important for viewers to believe that "anything can happen on the show"” schtick?

Here’s the rest:


3. If anyone was worried if they’d ever be able to regularly watch Bates football in the near future, fear not. Tuesday AM QB has your answer:

“As broadband and cheap video production proliferate, high schools and non-football-factory colleges will start broadcasting their own games. I'm betting that within 10 years, a significant portion of America's high schools and colleges will be self-broadcasting games over the Web. Your computer will sling the image to your HD television, which by then may be your HHHD television. You'll click off Fox – 10 years from now, Jack Bauer will have just 24 hours to stop an asteroid from striking the Earth, and his dog will be kidnapped! – and you'll watch your high school play its crosstown rival, or your college play its homecoming game.”

4. Watch out, animated terrorists, even you’re not safe!


5. Did anyone else notice that Jack dodged an explosion in each of the first five episodes without a scratch?
1-suicide bomber on subway
2-Hellfire rocket from attack copter
3-grenade in self-storage lot
5-helicopter on house

6. Finally, a response to the DashMan RE: Capt Bluetooth:

A-$$ stated:

"He was a dastardly character that you never learned much about last season, and that is exactly why he can fit into the role of Jack's brother. He was a leery BT wearing guy in a room with similar fellows, so they left it completely open for his development. He could have been anyone, making him JB's brother just adds some intrigue (makes him a character that you already knew from the past, a person with connections to JB, a person who is responsible for killing the best president ever)."

Au contrare, everything that CBT was last season is exactly why he CANNOT be a Bauer. CBT and JB being brothers does not add intrigue but adds stupidity. In the context of the plethora of mis-steps you have filed in your previous affidavit, this lame-ass move is like a (huge) cherry on top of a ten-scoop 24 eff up sundae. Not to get too legal-ese on you, I feel that it is my position to present my findings that, in fact, nobody has been “quick to forget” what has been done ad initio. Heretofore, I do not wish to proceed ad nauseum, so I willeth wrap it upeth and say Kim stayed around WAY too long and Russian Roulette was a great TV scene that can't be duplicated.

-JKow out

PS. Some non-24-related hilarity: http://podcast.wbcn.com/wbcn/37829.mp3

Thursday, February 08, 2007

A Few Things

Since I was in a Super Bowl funk (being that I worked for the Host Committee and had to attend a plethora of events, but ultimately did not watch ESPN or read espn.com for a two week period to avoid Peyton), I had to play some catch up in the world of JB the past couple days.

First, the question of Bluetooth and JB. It is very conceivable that BT and JB are brothers. BT was introduced last season as the John Travolta in Swordfish of the 24 universe. He apparently is a person who wants to protect America by circumventing normal diplomatic solutions, and uses force whenever necessary. He had Palmer, Tony and the likes offed. Last season made it seem as if he basically controlled the President. He was a dastardly character that you never learned much about last season, and that is exactly why he can fit into the role of Jack's brother. He was a leery BT wearing guy in a room with similar fellows, so they left it completely open for his development. He could have been anyone, making him JB's brother just adds some intrigue (makes him a character that you already knew from the past, a person with connections to JB, a person who is responsible for killing the best president ever).

Second, I agree with the points about JB's dad. I would have liked to see Donald in that role too (he may be too tall for Keifer's nobody-taller-than-me rule). It seemed like the show was going to go in the direction of Indiana Jones with the father son combo (which I would have enjoyed, especially if a young ethnic child was there and yelling with a stereotypical accent). After dad pulled the "enough torturing of your brother" look on JB, it was interesting to see him kill BT.

As of right now, I have no idea where this show is going.
  • Miles seems to be in dire straits.
  • Chloe has begun to suck less, but I think that is a ploy by the writers to make some characters likeable on the show.
  • I want more Nadia.
  • I called the habeas corpus stuff in December (though this doesn't matter to the rest of America, I am throughly appreciative of this being in the show. I like whenever stuff that I learn about in law school is talked about in the real world, aka 24).
  • DMX is the worst president ever... ever.
  • The guy from Ghostbusters is really good at being annoying. I feel like he has ties to JB's Dad's company in some fashion (or the company may kill him for impeding on their rights to terrorize).
But seriously now, I cannot deal with all of this negativity. Are we so quick to forget some of the blunders of the past in 24:
  • The mountain lion
    • Speaking of that, getting rid of Elisha Cuthbert all together
  • Killing Palmer last season
  • Jack killing his boss
    • While cool, so ridiculous on so many levels
  • The russian roulette game during the prison break
I think the most laughable part of the show is the fact that the nuclear bomb went off in LA and CTU isn't dealing with a massive riot in the city (similar to season 4 with the whole blackout and shootout with Bruno the terrorist).

- A-money

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

My Two Cents

I'll say it-- I've actually been alright with the last two weeks of 24. I've watched them late and on tape, and while I don't buy much of what they're sellin'...I'm kinda ok with watching it.

1 Cent: Jack's Dad looks exactly like Droopy Dog's Dad which means that Jack is probably ALSO related to that terrible Droopy Dog President.

2 Cents: No way Jack's dad kills Graem. I mean sure, no way they're related, but c'mon-- why once again kill off a character you could have gotten some plotline from. All my money is now on Smarmy O' Brien (also, should his last name be O' Brien? Why is it? Why is Chloe's last name O' Brien? I'm so confused.) to drop some greasy british shit on the terrorists.

Come Back To Witz Or Forever Hold Your Peace,

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Not for the show: For the blog

I just read an article in Bar Stool Sports (a free bi-weekly Boston paper about "things guys talk about at bars") that included a blurb about our "favorite" show. I had to post an excerpt... that made me laugh out loud on the subway...and attract awkward stares... Anywho, the excerpt:

'I just don't get how they still don't have Caller ID at CTU. Every second is priceless; Bauer can't be wasting time introducing himself to everybody. "Chloe - Bauer." "O'Brien - Bauer." "Mr. President, Jack Bauer." "Chloe, this is Jack again." My grandmother has Caller ID, surely you think they'd have that kind of technology at CTU. That said, I liked the part when they nuked Los Angeles.'

I'm glad other people laugh at this show, too.

If anyone is still reading this, I'd like to second Mr. Witz' idea that Capt. Bluetooth is NOT Jack's brother. No EFFING way.

This "fact" along with the fact that Donald Sutherland is NOT playing Jack's dad made me not watch "the show formerly known as 24" for the first time. I heard I didn't miss much. Dah-well.


PS: I heard the phrase "jumping the shark" in the same sentence with "24" on tv (news? Daily Show? the soup?) this weekend. Methinks they're a touch late with that one.