Monday, March 27, 2006

Women have lost their goddamn Minds

Well, I'm at the end of my rope with 24. Jack did return to his Bauer-esque torturing and terrorist-owning statuse, but the chicks (sorry girls who read this) are going crazy. As is my usual, a simple list of the zany ladies that fill the 5th day in the 24 universe:

1) Kimpossible - now suffering from post-traumatic-jack-disorder, she is drawn to her porn star like psychiatrist or therapist or analyst (maybe an "analrapsit"... second consecutive shout to Arrested). Didn't even hang around CTU after almost dying to say, "Hey pops, glad you are still alive and saved my porn star boyfriend's life."

2) Chloe - grumpiest of the grumpsters. But she may be losing the grumpness, on the pure fact that she is one of the only holdovers and people are just getting used to her ugly mug and scowl. Like the fact that she stood up for the busty-ginger (who is obviously crazy as well). Even though I am starting to hate her less, I present some actual quotes from my roommate about her:
"Gross, I don't know how you watch this show with this bitch on it"
"Again, fuck, get her off the screen."
"There are so many hot girls in the world, and they pick her, she isn't even a good actress, she just looks like she is doing what she does everyday."
"Dude, I have to go in the other room, she is that gross."

3) Audrey - also suffered from post-traumatic-jack-disorder by hooking up with former chief of staff Will "I'm Cummings on you." (I thought of that 10 minutes into this episode and have been giggiling ever since). Not too crazy, but she cries too much for me. Also, she is way too forgiving for a woman. Oh wait, Jack tortured and killed your husband (they were still married at the time), Jack faked his death and didn't tell you, and Jack smacked you around for selling information to a little vixen. Yeah, she's crazy for being in the same building as Jack.

4) Michelle - shit, the most normal is also the most dead.

5) Female terrorists - Subcategories on this one.
The vixen right now. Didn't she have a gun in her face last episode and she said Audrey gave her the info? Now this time, oh wait it was robocop that gave me the info. Stupid.
Nina Fuckin Meyers. Don't even get me started. Nothing will crush me more than the final hour of season 1 (just remember where you were when you watched it, then think about this season... crap).
Every other CTU vixen that got caught. Obviously they weren't good at what they did, so Jack took them down. Just crazy for thinking they could get past Jack Bauer.

In closing, women on veinte cuatro (24 for those of you who no hablo espanol) are bonkers. In terms of this week, he is fine. No way they are gonna keep the show going sans-Bauer. I couldn't deal with watching Chloe look at a computer screen for an hour a week.

In JB I trust,
- A dash


Blogger JKow said...

A$$, picking it up. I like your style here: Presenting material from this week’s episode in the framework of both this season and the entire series. The dichotomy of the relationships structured in both…oh, eff it. I don’t need to BS you like this is a paper for Cosmology. BTW: is that a class in fortune telling or applying make-up?

Siri-ously, though, I am obliged to make a few observations:

-Where were the grades? You know, like Chloe gets an F-… etc. It would have been like the mid- and end of season report cards that sports teams get in the newspapers.

-Where’s Sherri Palmer? (Clearly nuts)

-What about Mrs. Droopie? SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE ASYLUM… though not for the right reasons. (See “getting into Russian Pres’ limo” a few episodes ago.)

9:34 AM  
Blogger A Money said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:29 PM  
Blogger A Money said...

Ok, I was tired and had just tried to read legislation (most boring class that I have tried to survive in law school), so I missed a few ladies.

Sherri Palmer - What a slut for power. I mean, she undercut David Palmer at every possible junction, and then she had a plan to get back with him in season 3. Not to make this a race thing (but being the person I am, I can bring it up), she was the opitmy of a black woman so far in left field that she needs to be in another stadium all together.

Mrs. Droopie - Apparently she has been to the wacky house already (something that the other women haven't encountered). I really dislike her, but I also dislike women that try to tell their husbands that every decision that he makes is the wrong one.
On the flipside, my mother loves Mrs. Droopie, because "She is a strong woman... actually she should be President." Thanks for that input Mom, keep dreaming.

I don't do grades. That's too bates dailyjolt for my liking.

(I deleted the first one I posted of this, couple mistakes in it)

2:32 PM  

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