Friday, March 10, 2006

EEE

Eastern equine encephalitus??? no, it's:

"eugoogle-izing 'everyman' Edgah"


Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here to pay our respects to one, Mr Edgah Stiles, a victim of a berserk terror attack.

Killed in the line of duty, Edgah died b/c of his compassion for his fellow (wo)man. Regrettably, Edgah has moved on from real time. Never forget, however, that while Edgah may be gone from real time, his memory will always remain in our real hearts and our real minds... in real time. really.

Oh, Edgah, how we loved thee. But did we really know you?

Personally, I say yes.

Over the course of a season and a half, bloggers across the WORLD have seen you blossom from an unconfidant, squirrelly fat man with a lisp/stutter to a squirrelly lisping/stuttering fat(ter?) BAD MOTHA WHO DON'T TAKE NO CRAP FROM NO ONE!!

Siri-ously, Edgah, you matured a lot during you time with us. And we grew with you (just not at the same rate... I hope). A few examples:

1.We cried with you when your "mothah just died"
2.We started the website "www.giveedgahstilesthecredithedeservesforstoppingthe catastrophicmeltdownoflike117nuclearpowerplants.com.org.clownpenis.fart"
3.We itch-slapped the TV hoping that Chloe would feel it. (wait, you had nothing to do with that).
4.This season, we prayed that you and Chloe would get together. (Or atleast give us an IMMENSELY awkward "but I love you" scene.)
5.And finally, we yearned that you could have given a more fulfilling death scene. I mean, come on, the possibilities were ENDLESS! We could have had a #4b (see above). You could have started youk-ing out your guts like like the victims of VX gas in the Rock. Or even better, your eyes could have bugged out like Ahnold at the end of Total Recall. Finally (this is one we were all secretly hoping for), you could have even had a heart attack.

But, alas, Edgah, your (massive) presense and lovable lisp/stutter will delight us on monday nights no more.

RIP

1 Comments:

Blogger Witz said...

It just occurred to me that Edgah died one week before the Sopranos comes back on the air. Do I smell a flashback/not really dead plotline on the Sopranos?? Probably not. I probably smell the tomato sauce I left out last night.

9:50 AM  

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