Sunday, January 14, 2007

The Following Takes Place Between 10am PST and 8pm PST On the Day of the Season 6 Premier

10am -- Wake up. Remember 24 season premier is on tonight. Groan inwardly. Fart outwardly, hesitant look at girlfriend to make sure did not wake her up with my faltulence. The coast is clear.

10:30am -- Come to terms with the fact that another season of 24 is upon us. Season Six. How could this have happened? I suppose just how when you really can't wait for something it takes forever to arrive, when you have absolutely NO anticipation for a show, the time flies by to its return.

11:45am -- Check the Fox website. This season of 24 is quoted by Stephen King as being, "So good it's scary," which might have meant something before "Faithful" came out and I lost most respect for Stephen King (and I'm a Red Sox fan). Maybe he said that right before the car slammed into him. Maybe that's why the car hit him. "I think 24 is so good it's scar--" BAM! MOTOR-VEHICLE TO THE TORSO!

12:30pm-- lunch and snacking. 24 Put to rest.

1:53pm -- Frazier Moore says that "24 returns with a bang." For his sake, I hope he doesn't mean that as a pun. Because if he means that 24 returns with a bang, referring to a gushot or explosion I will have to track him down and make him get clubbed by baby seals. 24 is not returning with a bang. It began with a bang, continued with a bang, was EVERPRESENT AND UBIQUITOUSLY chock full 'o bang, and maybe Jack will settle down and take a breather one of these days if the show would just end with a bang. Aubdrey. Kim. Poor lady. New Chick. Chloe. Whoever. Release the beast, Jack.

3:45pm -- Start to come to terms with this season's existence. Last year's premier was fantastic despite the rest of the season's misery. Droopy Dog was the worst ever, but remember when EVERYONE WE LIKED died in the first 4 hours? Remember that hope? The hope of good writing? Remember Kim's Pornstar Boyfriend? That was funny. Right? Right?

5:30pm -- Consider starting a "King of Queen's Blog" and leaving this one.

5:35pm -- Remember "King of Queen's" is done after this season. Sad. Realize that I've probably only seen 10 KoQ's in my whole life and have over 100 I still haven't seen. Happy.

6:03pm -- Eat dinner. Contemplate how this is my last meal before 24 Season 6 begins. Pour a sip out for my future homies. Receive glare from girlfriend at slowly spreading stain on the carpet.

7:25pm -- Maybe I won't do it. Maybe I'll just opt out. I can do that right? Right?

7:43pm -- What Would Jack Do? Sign on for a gigantic multi-million dollar contract-- oh-- right. Well then.

7:50pm -- Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Cant Lose. Dammit, Friday Night Lights is so much better.

7:55pm -- It's not about the show. It's about the friends. It's about watching a show for better or worse because we can gather here on a weekly basis to complain, laugh, score movie trivia points, and cry together. Because They Don't Know Jack, but we do. And at least here, we have each other. That's more than Jack can say. And like a former Red Sox current Seahawks fan might say, "Maybe this year is the year..." because Curtis is due, Chloe can't survive too much longer, and nobody said David Palmer didn't have a secret twin who's running for office. Maybe this year is the year.

7:59pm -- Beep boop. Beep boop. Beep boop.



Blogger caitystar said...

you forgot the part where you and my boyfriend got drunk and took a nap together.

6:28 PM  
Blogger JKow said...

It might just be me, but I always thought it was more "boop, beep" than "beep, boop."

7:40 PM  

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