Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The following took place 11 days after the "MOST EXPLOSIVE Finale in 24 History" originally aired

First in the Q: Sorry I’m late w/ this: it took me a week and a half to get a tape of the episode. Good to see that everybody came out and posted something for the finale...

Second Down: I think Fox missed the boat with the superlatives of this finale. I think this could have actually been the “Most Unintentionally Comedic Two-Hour Season Finale of a Drama EVER”. Some choice examples:
-RAINESonmyparade is on the IM AGAIN!
-Chloe's British ex-husband
-Ewww…old people sex
-Jack "Dark Helmet" Bauer (*noted independently of BG)
-More tazers
-Droopy bitching at his Secret Service detail as they "escort" him
-Buchanon wants breakfast
… and last but SURELY not least:

This guy's a machine: I'm ok with the idea that Christopher "Never just Chris" Henderson would know that the Russian Alpha had 12 multiple-target cruise missiles (I mean, who doesn't?) ... but the launch deactivation code to said missiles?!? Come on, now.

Bates Rates (revisited):

Down: NOT having George Takei (Mr. Sulu) play the Chinese baddy
Up: NOT having Kim appear in this episode
Down: Wayne Palmer staying in the closet
Up: Me staying until the VERY end of the credits of X-Men 3
Down: Playing poker on a Friday night
Up: Playing Russian Roullette with a Mexican terrorist... during a prison riot

Another blown opportunity: Instead of taking Jack, the ninjas should have taken KIM. I mean, the kidnapping Kim storyline hasn't been used in a while, and it would have dramatically increased the unintentional comedy of the end of the season.

Season 6: I call right now that Jack will spend several hours next season made up as an Asain ala Sean Connery in that one Bond movie (You Only Live Twice?).

The Most Important Thing: Tell me again why Jack went into the Chinese Embassy last season?


Anonymous PuffTeddy said...

OK. First of all, George Takei is of Japanese descent, and we all know the hatred the Chinese have for the Japanese, so that wouldn't work. #2: This season had a Bobby Ewing/ 4th season of Dallas feel to it. (For those of you who don't know, Dallas was a show that dealt with corrupt oil people like me, and at the end of the 4th season, after the ratings tanked, brought him back to life, stating that the season was all a dream.) #3: Jack pretty much wore a skirt this year. (Sorry to all the women out there, and those men who wear skirts, not that there's anything wrong with that.) Chloe might have had the best take down scene when she tasered the drunk, puffteddy looking guy at the bar....twice! #4: Old people (and by that I mean people older than me) sex is just scary. So we had Droopy and Headcase(I faked every orgasm) this season, and neXXXt season seems prime for more geriatric action, with Headcase (I faked every orgasm) and (don't call me Hank)Aaron, Bill(want to get some breakfast? no? How about some Billicakes then?) and Ellen (I haven't gotten laid in 5 years because Miles has been my lapdog), the old security guard, Woody, and Sexual Harrassmet Sheri, and Jack and Audrey (they are older than me). I think 24 should have a spinoff....Curtis CTU, where only minorities will have major roles, and the white man will get introduced and die in the same episode.

Day 6: Chinese Prison, or What I did on my summer vacation.

6:40 AM  
Blogger JKow said...

ok, puffy, you got me: I didn't do my research. However, when has 24 ever paid attention to details like ethnicity?

7:17 AM  
Anonymous PuffTeddy said...

You mean Curtis is really white?

6:52 AM  
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