Saturday, February 25, 2006

Meat-normous response post

E-gads, look at all the hilarity that's been posted this week! It's great. I have so much material that I can make stupid comments about now. Booyeah! (wait, I hate stuart scott. "DAMNIT")


Paying my respects to Witz, I'm going to give a running commentary of this weeks posts. hmmm, where to begin...

Jo-ly crap, Jose! Glad you're back w/ us! (Just don't get fired now.) I think you might have taken the "Where's your crown king" RANDOM award for the week. I mean, K-Fed, Cesar Crespo and VORP in the same column?!?! damn, son! RANDOM STAT NOTE: I'm posting from the FLA today. I think this blog may now officially have the highest SPF ratio now. I'm not talking about sunscreen but the "States Posted From" per blogger ratio. A better stat... with all this talk about double-you-em-dee's (WMD's) in the Middle East, I came up with "bee-pee-em-dee's" for this blog. BPMD= between poster mean distance. With Compton, Starbuck's, Beantown, one of (don't mess with) Texas' "-sten"cities (austin? houston?), and now O-town, (and of course "points unknown"...105.1 WTOS, skowheegan, augusta, waterville, the mountain of rock") we should definitely have the highest average distance between posting locations.

I'm sorry, I digress...Back to the big HO:


-I love that you wasted ZERO time in giving it to A-Fraud and Peyton (feel free to rip Eli, too. "DAMNIT" you're prolly a Giants fan.)
-My BloggerGal's papi made a good point: "the guy who plays "President" Droopy should win an Emmy. It takes some serious acting skills to look like that much of a moron and make EVERYBODY hate him." Sound logic here. unless of course he is just a moron... that eveyrbody hates.
-Did "Pres" Droopy get elected? Or is this still the end of the term from Air Force 1 downed president's term?
-I'm going to make a few offers for "big(gest) drop-offs". These are not necessarily "well-thought-out" or "insightful" if you will (NOTE: the previous 2 sets of quotation marks would have come with air quotes in real life. I don't know how to signify that w/ text...) Simply a couple of quick thoughts: Clinton to Bush; Cabrera to Edgah Rentareck; Sean Connery to whoever-came-after-him-as-007; whoever-came-before-ETH to ETH; The original MTV unplugged (included bands like Nirvana, AIC, Live, PJ) to the unplugged 2.0 (including Shakira, Dashboard Confessionals, Lauryn Hill, Staind (and I like Staind))
-How can anyone NOT miss the homosexuality of the hobbits? It's freakin over the top! btw: I don't buy Astin as the hard-ass type. (Brokeback note: is it me, or does Aston Martin always play characters with androgenous names like Lynn, Rudy and Sam?)
-"freedom tickles"... excellent!


Nobody beats the witz:

-In case anyone didn't get it before, this blog can officially be titled: "SportsGuy Impersonators' 24 Blog"
-Slurp Salt Lake much? geez
-Dude, don't diss "Ear"wick. He was the most....um, bland terrorist yet. Where was he from again? What were his issues? I have no idea. (Name note: Erwick? that's the best they could come up w/ for a Russian/Chechen terrorist name? come on! How about "Strysinsky" or "Nymzymsky" (such a cooler name than "Neems"). Heck, they could've called "Ear"wick "Kowaleski"... wait, that was the name of the skilled assassin posing as a Ukranian teen sex slave!)
-I have one word for the lame-o side plots: AAAIIEEEYYEEEEE!! (TM the Tuesday AM QB) (plot note: It's not surprising that the massively elaborate terrorist schemes don't work- they need to KISS!!! or then again, there's that jack bauer/diety thing.)
-The "jack-arrested-by-CTU" bit is SOOO old... as old as the CTU mole, WHICH THEY BROUGHT BACK AGAIN! aaaiiieeeyyyyeee!! Hopefully, the writers will keep the rogue bauer thing short this time (just like the spencer is the accidental mole thing)
-I almost spat my drink out about the "Jack ripping his arms off" bit. I'm willing to guess that this is why Jose was crying.
-droopy=left testicle... priceless. Maybe droopy is the actual brother of michael chikless (Det. Scroats, I think) that makes an appearance in the Family Guy movie. A (hairy?) black testicle and a shaved white scrotum: that duo would MURDER Audrey and Chloe!
-Nathanson was the man! and he upgraded! why'd he have to die???? oh, right, as witz pointed out, he didn't listen to god. (NAMING NOTE: I might have to refer to Jack as WWJBD for a while) The nathanson bit was some quality video game-like cinema. But nothing compared to Michael Douglass' making the logical "briefcase-bat-knife-bag o' guns-i forget what he gets after this-does he get a rocket launcher by the end" progression in Falling Down!! (btw: jamie (the first ever CTU mole) is in FD. She's like 14...
-IM sounds: I've been saying that they need to be off for years!! (by "years", I mean "since going to Bates"). alas, 24 has finally vindicated me.
- Vanessa "Carla-the prom queen" Marcil: way too hot for both stanley goodspeed and nic cage. Connery... I could see that, though. "Hello, pussy"
-WTF are you talking about w/ the masks? is this "eyes wide shut" or something? (to be honest here, i don't even know what that last sentence means... )

on to Geto:

-The writers not only dropped the ball this week, the did so at the opponents' 1-yard-line. AHHHH!!!
-Nathanson was sweet! you think they coulda kept the WWJBD-Nathanson combo alive for a bit longer than they did.
-prior to that, the writers just HAD to have WWJBC go rogue again. I mean, WWJBD owning Curtis was cool, but the prospects of dueling dual pistols are SO much cooler than a diety on the run.
-i totatlly agree about the helicopter crash, what happened there? gah, dropping the ball
-In an answer to your question: "I don't care if the Russian Pres gets aced w/ nerve gas. I'd actually prefer it simply b/c the "pres"' wife is in the limo. I'll just have to IM Aaron to get out first." (I'll let someone else do my IM convo w/ Aaron)


ok, my fingers are tired... even though it took me four (that's 4) separate sessions to complete this post. I hope you all appreciate my hard work.

Baue-r before your savior,

jkow

37 Comments:

Blogger WitzPickz said...

MTV's Response to a Response 2.0

Dropoffs: Don't forget Disney to Euro-Disney, MTV's Undressed to MTV's Date My Mom, The West Wing being on the air to The West Wing NOT being on the air, and of course; The Matrix to The Matrix Reloaded.

I dont even know why I made that Salt Lake reference...I couldn't even find the salt lake when I was there.

Amazing call on Michael Douglas being the all time upgrade champion.

Chloe was in Punch Drunk Love as Adam Sandler's massively annoying sister....these roles have gotta start wearing down on the old ego after a while.

The IM Conversation:

MadKow: You there man?
AarunningStart: Yo.
MadKow: Dude, where you at?
AarunningStart: Limo.
MadKow: Oh man, ok, you gotta get outta there.
AarunningStart: Word?
MadKow: Yeah, nerve gas.
AarunningStart: Oh, snap. I knew that crazy bitch was doing something crazy. I'll open the door and roll out in a minute, after I finish this Fresca.
MadKow: Cool.
AarunningStart: TTYL
MadKow: Wait!
AarunningStart: What?
MadKow: I respect your morale compass.
AarunningStart: I'm just trying to be the best man I can be.
MadKow: I know it.
AarunningStart: Wanna tag team Kim Bauer?
MadKow: Oh man, she's not coming back again, is she?
AarunningStart: God, I hope not, but I know where she dances.
MadKow: Yeah?
AarunningStart: Uhp! Time to go. ::rolling out of moving limo::
MadKow: ::Nods::
Automated Response from AarunningStart:
Saving the world, lunch, saving the world, gym, dinner, watching "Miami Ink", saving the world, sleep.

10:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Regarding whether or not Pres Logan was elected...didn't he make a comment to Mike or Walt in one of the beginning episodes that he ran his campaign on a platform of ...(national security or something)
-JB

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