Friday, January 20, 2006

I'm Depressed.

Is this the internet? Am I "blogging?" Have I finally joined my friends as well as emotionally unstable 13 year olds across the land in the wide world of online thought-posting? The free exchange of ideas across international boundaries? If so, I have something to say. I'm depressed.

I'm depressed and it's only partially due to the fact that I singed my eyebrows while grilling hot dogs over my grandfather's vintage 1930's gas range this morning. (For details visit: www.Isingedmygoddamneyebrowscookingtubedmeat.blogspot.com) No, fellow internet wizzards, I'm depressed because the title of this Blog is 24: The Post-College Years. This whole time I've been saying "College-Graduate," which sounds so full of hope! But now I see the truth. This life I've been living is not the life of a college grad, its the life of someone who is indeed "Post College."

I've got all the major warning signs: A growing collection of "interview suits," an outragously high 6-month auto insurance policy and an ever-present tummy paunch which threatens to make me look more like my father every day.

Well it stops here! From now on I am no longer post-college. I am pre-CTU. I will watch 24 religiously, honing my skills in riflery, computer hacking (blogging), and sneaking through ventilation ducts. It's important to have a goal in life, and now I've got one. Some day, I'm gonna rescue, torture, infiltrate, or snipe something. First, I will begin by safely and successfully preparing lunch with no major accidents. The future is bright my friends. Let's all take a big bite.

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